You are looking for your soul mate on-line, you can have a wonderful ad and profile, but things can still fall apart, if you are going to send awkward messages in response to other people’s ads. What can you do to improve your on-line dating and make the first message work for you?
Do’s:
Write in advance. This will let you think what you say about yourself and you will have enough time to check your spelling and grammar. If you are not sure about how effective your message is, read it to a friend and ask your friend to react to your draft message.
Spell-check. This is an important step that shouldn’t be taken for granted. This will show you are serious in your search and that you are willing to pay attention to the details. Some people are bad spellers automatically, but it can make you less smart than you really are. Most of the dating sites don’t offer spell-check of profiles or messages.
Personalize your message. The recommendation is to write a general first message that you should be personalizing for each person you are going to contact. Mention something from their profile, describe how good match you can be or ask questions reacting to some statements in personal profile, etc. You can also mention what has attracted you to this profile and personality. Do this as none likes receiving form letters.
Make sure your message is longer than one line. Such messages would be considered the most frequently sent and 90% ignored. You need to invent something else, something outstanding, eye-catching and mind blogging. Write something interesting or humorous to get a reply.
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Yes, use humor! Personals with great sense of humor receive great amount of replies. They actually are the most popular on sites dedicated to on-line dating for singles. A funny line will help you to stand out in the grey line of many alike initial messages. However, if you notice people don’t react to your humorous initial message, you better leave your jokes for later.
Be sure to keep track of whom you have contacted. Never write series of letters to the members, who have not responded, otherwise you risk to look like a stalker, jerk or simply boring and desperate person.
Don’ts:
Never demand personal information right away and definitely not when you failed to pass your personal information. Find the balance between talking about you and asking things about others.
Never start your communication about your past relationships, your exes and so on. Everyone has the dating history behind their shoulders. Talking about sad moments, cheaters and liars make you sound bitter and sad, so avoid such conversations, especially at the initial stage. Never even hint you think that everyone can hurt you now, this is a big turn-off.
Never open with sex topics. If the person is not looking for a sexual affair, then it is better to avoid compliments on certain body parts or calling that person sexy right away. You will sound vulgar and rude. You are not on a porn site with adult activities, so you need to be descent and respectful to other members of the site.
Never write too much. A person would fall asleep in the middle of your ‘novel’. Sending your life story in the first letter will look at least odd. Make sure you sound like you have an interesting and many-sided life, but not make it a book to publish.
Never initiate your contact with word like “I can’t stand on-line dating” and the like. Remember that you are talking to someone, who uses these services to find a partner. Such saying would imply these people are dumb, desperate or strange to you and you never want that, right?
Never ask for personal contact information unless you have received a reply. You can be a stalker, maniac, serial killer, psycho, etc. Why should a person trust you right away? Go slowly not to scare off your potential date.